Body Alliance
January 2009
Photo from The Full Body
Project
*[Wo]man
is the sole animal whose nudity offends her own
companions, and the only one who, in her natural
actions, withdraws and hides herself from her own
kind.
-
Montaigne
Tis' the season of new year's resolutions. Did you
expect to see a different kind of picture? Take a
minute to really look at the photo above. What comes to
mind as you view these full-figured women in all their
glory?
When I was in college studying for my BA in Psychology
and Human Development, one class that rocked my world
was entitled: Prejudice and Stigma. My dynamic
professor, Chris Crandall, is still at it. He has
been studying prejudice for decades. Specifically,
he is an expert on the topic of weight-related
prejudice. I vividly remember the day when he
revealed to us what I considered staggering
statistical findings. He and his colleagues found
that: The parents of obese children were
significantly less likely to pay to send them to
college. The familial weight-dependent prejudice
displayed towards female children was much higher
than that of boys. And that perhaps the most painful
aspect of the stigma of "fat" in all age groups -
what set this stigma apart from other demographics -
was that even people of the same size and shape were
reportedly prejudiced toward one another. In
essence, antipathy towards fat people is pervasive
and culturally reinforced, even within the family
and social circles.
The picture gallery referenced above intrigues me for
the way in which it challenges me to think. Did you
notice any culturally inherited prejudices in your
perception of these ladies? These are women who dance
in naked defiance of the cultural spell many of us are
under. First, they bask in the glow of self-acceptance
without sucking it in or reliance on airbrushing. That
is inspiration enough. Yet they take it a step further.
They blatantly dare you to face your judgments, your
assumptions, and your willingness to accept beauty in
all its variations. They dare to flaunt their abundant
curves, usually kept hidden. They reach to one another
for the courage it takes to be seen...a collective band
of body-blazing pioneers. They are heros in their own
right.
Over fifteen years after Dr. Crandall's initial
findings, I can honestly say that I don't know one
woman - of any shape or size - who is immune from the
terrifying stigma of "fat" on some level. Again and
again, I am surprised to learn that even the most
slender, dynamic, and powerful women are fighting
against their bodies. It's the same story in variant
forms...25-year old women "feeling fat" while wearing
everything from size two to size twenty, 35-45 year old
women confused that they are no longer shaped like a
teen model, and women 50+ years young who quite
literally ban themselves from the pleasure of a bathing
suit for life due to the pain of body-loathing. It's
our best kept secret - this emotional sickness among
women. We only allude to the symptoms of it, as our
helplessness keeps us from diving too deep.
On my own journey, I have certainly braved the seas of
change from adolecence into womanhood. Even my youth
and interest in movement didn't keep me immune. I look
back on photos of me athletic, thin, and in my
“physical prime.” I feel a mixture of awe and utter
sadness that I feared and "felt fat" even then! Now as
I step into another transformative season of life, I
peel back the layers on more negative beliefs and
self-judgments as my body is changing. When will I
truly feel total body acceptance?
If, like me, you have an intention for greater health
and self-care in 2009, I fully support your mission.
Yet I have discovered time and time again that
intentions driven by the desperation of body-loathing
are not a healthy prescription for change. True
motivation comes from a heartfelt desire for a more
fulfilling life, not a smaller dress size. And fitness
is about so much more than a number on a scale.
In 2008, I took a break from dancing and most forms of
fitness. This time-out was prompted by my body's cries
for a hiatus from over seven years of pretty much
continual dynamic movement. During that time the
prescription for my wellness was stillness. Over the
course of my time off, I gained nearly 20 lbs along
with the weight of some new leisurely habits.
Nevertheless, I was inventing new ways to be healthy
and whole. And, I was invited to love my body anew - an
ever-developing woman existing amidst a more curvaceous
landscape.
I recently started dancing again...as the integration
completed its cycle, my spirit began to stir once
again. I thought it would surely take a few months to
feel the power of fitness and movement as I once had.
What I discovered after only 1 week of movement was
glorious! No, not that I had lost a bunch of weight or
that I had rock-hard abs. I discovered that I
immediately felt alive again...that sweat is an elixir
of bliss when delivering the spirit within...and that
to move is to breathe life forward. All of these are
indicators of true fitness. To express my spirit
through the flesh, at any age and cycle of life, that
is wellness realized.
Lightness can be felt at any size. Beauty can be
activated in a deep cleansing breath or in a simple
movement of the hips. And fitness is an aliveness that
can only be measured from within.
Ladies, I know I am not
alone in my journey to change the way I think about my
body and fitness. Yet, instead of turning to one
another for support, we turn to our mirrors in shame.
We turn to fad diets...we turn to deprivation and
isolation...we turn to creams to hide our
cellulite...and unfortunately, we turn on one another
through subtle energetics that feed our pain and
disconnection.
As with all mentalities we outgrow as a species, this
cultural madness must be brought to light and shed. In
2009, like the women pictured above, let's create an
alliance to accept one another in the ways in which we
would like to be accepted. I propose that we band
together to step out of the darkness and into the light
and brilliance that comes from navigating our fears.
Let's stop turning our back on one another and let's
find fitness, pleasure, and self-acceptance somewhere
other than in our reflections and dress sizes.
If you feel so inspired, I invite you to join me in the
following New Year's Resolution:
• I will do my best to accept and find beauty in my
body, as it is - giving myself at least one physical
complement per day.
• I will send a message of body-based appreciation and
admiration to at least one woman per day (via a
heartfelt complement, through thought or word).
• I will readjust my thinking in order to incorporate a
new definition of fitness - one where feeling radiant
and powerful is more important than feeling thin. I
will seek opportunities to express my radiance through
my body in 2009!
SIGN THE CONTRACT
Body Alliance 2009
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resolution.
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And by the way, Body
Appreciation is just one of the many topics we will
focus on in the upcoming Radiance Coaching Class Series
(new dates tba). If you feel moved to join us,
click here for more information.
Hope to see you there!
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Looking Forward to Celebrating Your Beauty,
Candice
Inner Authority
August 2008
At
the deepest level, the level of the soul, you are the
author of everything that happens to you.
- Deepak
Chopra
Inner Authority. It is an
essential component in following one's own path of
brilliance. The word "authority" implies both a sense
of sovereignty and, perhaps less obviously, the ability
to author and/or create an outcome. Inner Authority
(Mahatma Gandhi called it soul
force) places the power to
create back in your heart and hands. Soul Force is
hard-wired to override evidence (or opinions) to its
contrary. It is a knowing that, at times, defies
reason. And due to its unreasonable and unworldly
nature, it brings you closer to the Divine.
Through experience in working with my own internal
guidance and authority, I have learned to trust it.
When I resist the guidance that I receive within
(usually due to fear of failure or judgment), my outer
world begins to express symptoms of my soulular
discomfort. If I push my limits, my body may begin to
shut down or pack on the pounds. If I continue to do
something that no longer inspires me, conflicts may
begin to emerge or money may stop flowing freely. All
in all, my life seems to be divinely orchestrated; I
only need have the courage to respond to its cues.
In this month's recommended reading, Deepak Chopra
lists what he calls the Three Requirements to
be Happy on The Soul Level. He invites us to ask the
following questions:
Do I act without effort?
Do I feel joy in what I do?
Are my actions bringing results?
He very plainly put into
words the process that I have been going through over
the past few months. I am delighted to report that I am
taking steps to shift the order of my everyday so that
I can again answer an emphatic YES! to each of the
above.
Now what about you? How is
your soul represented in your everyday? Your physical
reality is a reflection of your soulular
alignment...yes, at all times. Are you making choices
that are in integrity with the truth of you, the
highest expression of who you can be at this moment? If
so, Grace will walk alongside you as an ally. Or it may
be that you are ready to make some space for your
soul's deepest truths to emerge with more ease.
Choices, one at a time, are all that stand between you
and the deepest level of joy and fulfillment you could
ever know.
Saying Yes Now,
Candice
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Acts of Self-Love
April 2008
Well-ordered
self-love is right and natural.
St. Thomas Aquinas
In recent weeks, I have
become more aware than ever that I have much to learn
about self-care. It's a common paradox for those of us
in paths of service. Continually we encourage others to
honor personal rhythms of healing, while ignoring the
lights flashing in our own hearts. It's true indeed
that we teach what we need to learn. I have come to
notice that, quite often, in coaching sessions I am the
messenger administering the medicine to us both via
intuition and unexpected verbal elixirs.
It has been said before, love is an action. It is a
series of choices. And so, when it comes to shining
love inward, we must compassionately observe the
choices that we make repeatedly throughout the day. How
often are we present to what is alive in the moment? Do
we sometimes override impulses to self-nurture in order
to feed perceived urgencies in our environment? It
takes only awareness to rewind, and re-choose.
True Self-love is hardly a singular or selfish pursuit.
In actuality, it is blatantly spiritual - an act of
reverence for the energy from which you came. Honor
your body as a sacred temple, your mind as fertile
ground for divine awareness, and your heart as a
blessed antennae steadfast in rhythmic dance with all
of life.
We only appreciate our good or evil
in proportion to our self-love.
François
de la Rochefoucauld
It is a worthwhile practice
to meditate on the quote above. It is our relationship
to self-love that guides our perceptions in life. Take
any event in your life and hold it inward in your
awareness. If the light of self-love is dimly lit, you
may see yourself as a victim of circumstances. Lack of
light may taint your view of What-Simply-Is to
incorporate a poor self-image, feeding inner drama and
suffering. Depressing stories are built - not upon
circumstances - but upon forgetfulness of the
Brilliance within.
If, however, you have access to the abundance of light
inside...if you see yourself as an essential aspect of
the light of goodness, suddenly the world around you
looks much different. You will see that each and every
response to circumstance is built upon the choice that
you make in the moment. Heightened self-love results in
acceptance and self-empowerment, and both are
unattached to storytelling as a means to justify
feeling good. Loving the light within is timeless and
unconditional with practice, regardless of what
happened "once upon a time."
Investing in mini-acts of self-love is the greatest
gift that you can give to those around you. Over time
you see that your inner light needs to be fed with
awareness in order for you to give the best of you to
others. So take that walk in the park in the middle of
the day, feed yourself healthy perpectives, and surely
it can't hurt to give yourself a hug from time-to-time.
In re-igniting your bliss, you become evermore
committed to passing it along:
"Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared."
- Buddha
Reaching my Light to
yours,
Candice
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Praise Her
January 2008
Praise
is literal food for feminine qualities. If you
want a woman to grow in her radiance, health,
happiness, love, beauty, power, and depth, praise
these qualities. Praise them daily, a number of
times.
- David Deida, Way of the Superior
Man
I have learned much from my
work as a SHiNE Agent. As a teacher, guide, and coach
facilitating brilliance in others, I have come
face-to-face with myself. Sometimes with joy, other
times with apprehension . In 2008, I am focusing on
walking the talk even more, as I work (and play) hard
to unleash the latent powers that lie dormant within. I
am pleased to note that, this year, I myself have a
coach and mentor to assist me on my journey to a more
rich and fulfilling expression of how Brilliance works
through me.
Becoming the client again has reminded me of the
courage that it takes to reach out for support. Through
my work, I learn more and more that the desire to be
acknowledged for our deepest essence is inherent and
universal. Nature intended that we create a web of
brilliant support around us to nourish our growth.
Thus, when our pride keeps us from reaching out for
connection with others, it does us a great disservice.
It often leads us to the most tragic disconnection that
can happen - disconnection with the divine spark
within.
The majority of my students and clients are women. This
month being the month of love, I feel compelled to
reach out to each one of you with a brilliant reminder.
You are an essential aspect of a Radiant and Powerful
Energy that deserves to be praised and worshipped
daily! Worshipped? By who? Well, by YOU, of course!
If you aren't sure how to gift yourself with the
awareness of self-love and put it into action in your
life, we can help. I invite you to attend a class or
schedule a coaching session soon. I am always honored
to facilitate a container for recognition,
self-celebration, right action, and praise. You are a
perfect and essential facet of the Divine Brilliance
alive in all of us. Self-love, when understood in its
purity, is far from an egoic pursuit. It is the
recognition of Oneness, not separation, that activates
our SHiNE. Let's work together to remind one another,
yes?
In 2008, I am more committed than ever to serving you
through a new program: The SHiNE Ministry. Visit my
blog to tag along as I experience various spiritual
communities, reporting on brilliant outlets in the
Portland area. Or, join me for a class, coaching
session, or New Earth SHiNE Circle in the coming weeks.
I look forward to seeing you soon.
With Love,
Candice
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The Body Condition
To
be in harmony with the Oneness of things is
to be without anxiety about
imperfection.
Zen
Master Dogen
I have been thinking a lot about body conditioning. You
might think that I am referring to the many actions
that we take to bring the physical body to its optimal
state of performance. No, today I speak of something
closer to my heart. I am in awe of our cultural
conditioning and our conditional
acceptance of
the body as whole, functional, and perfect.
Last night, I stood in front of the mirror and
witnessed my ego lash out venemously at my body. All in
all, the winter months have been very good to me. I
have a beautiful and cozy new home, a loving
relationship of renewed balance, and a feeling of
contentment I have never known. And, I have gained
10-15 pounds.
Our new home has only a very small mirror in the
upstairs bathroom where I shower and primp each day. As
a result, I rarely see my full reflection naked. I have
certainly noticed the shift in my activity level (a
common cycle for me in the cold months, while also a
function of some professional shifts). My clothes fit
differently, for sure. But I was, nevertheless, a bit
shocked when I stood on the bed to catch a glimpse of
my new fullness in the mirror above my dresser. Now I
don't mean to place value judgments. The truth is, I
really do see beauty in many different body shapes and
sizes in women all around me. So why is it that the
ruler against which I measure myself is so different?!
In 2001, I was miserable in my body. I had been
managing a restaurant 60 hours a week for far too long.
I was eating poorly, and had little to no physical
stamina. I was fed up, and hungry in the spirit. I left
my job and moved to Boulder, Colorado. It was there
that I stepped into my first Nia class. I was
completely hooked from the get-go. For over a year, I
did Nia every single day. I couldn't move enough. I
obtained my white belt, began teaching, and soon added
regular qigong and yoga practice to the mix. I was
suddenly addicted to movement and the flow of chi
through my body. I was a physical machine.
Naturally, my body changed dramatically. At the height
of this athletic phase in my development my body was
thin, taunt, and very strong. While this may have been
my initial aim, I was oddly unaffected by it. I just
wanted to move, plain and simple. The new shape my
movement took was just a convenient by-product. I took
it completely for granted. It was easy to rarely think
about it given that the conditions
for my
conditional body-love were more ideal at that time than
they had every been. My body condition was such that,
most of the time, I could conditionally accept it. No
problem.
It wasn't until I moved to Oregon that everything
changed. Over the past 4 years, life conditions have
gradually led to less to less movement. As the Coach in
me has become more activated, the Athlete has grown
disinterested. For months upon months, I forced myself
to teach Nia, even though I feel in my heart I have
outgrown it as a teaching practice. In mid-December of
2007, I finally left my regular teaching practice.
In the summer of 2006, when the hoop entered my life, I
experienced another burst of the physical. I rode the
wave of newness and performance for a time, yet the
hooping world - full of amazing individuals whom I
love! - is, quite simply, a unique culture that I don't
always resonate with as a lifestyle. I have yet to
fully find my place in it outside of the classroom.
Teaching Hoopdance has given me a new vehicle to
explore via the body, yet still, I am called to do it
less and less over time.
I am coming to accept that I am teacher above all else.
My mediums are likely to shift and change throughout my
life, that this I must allow. And so, my body condition
has changed with the seasons of my heart.
Ironically, at this new weight, I am more grounded and
stable than ever. Eating meat and honoring my body's
natural rhythms (no longer pushing it to its edge every
day) has been the greatest act of self-love. It has
occurred to me that perhaps my ego's
ideal body
shape is not that which my body and spirit responds to
best. At least at this moment in time. And my heart -
the mediator between body and mind - is meant to foster
the unity of self-acceptance.
I want to reiterate the recommended reading for July
2007, Radical
Acceptance by Tara Brach. I am
revisiting it now. It is a beautifully-crafted book
that teaches us how to embrace each moment in time
with love and gratitude. Read it again and again.
May your most important body condition be acceptance.
Namaste.
Self Love
January 2008
There
is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is
translated through you into action; and because
there is only one of you in all time, this
expression is unique. If you block it, it will
never exist through any other medium. It will be
lost.
The world will not have it.
It is not your business to determine how good it is,
nor how valuable it is, nor how it compares with other
expressions. It is your business to keep it yours
clearly and directly, and to keep the channel open.
-
Martha Graham
It's easy to judge your brilliance as nothing
special...for you can't possibly see it clearly.
Imagine asking the sun to see it's own light. What
light? How can I separate from what I am enough to see
it?
A friend and colleague of mine recently shared with me
a practice that she did in school as a child. They
called it carrying your ilac card. At the beginning of
the day, each student received a card that read: I love
and care for myself. As they moved through the rest of
their day, they were told to tear away pieces of the
card whenever they thought, said, or did something that
tore away at their sense of self-love. It proved to be
an insightful practice, no doubt. The best part? Each
day they would receive a new, untainted card to keep
whole again.
When I ponder our culture's collective approach to the
new year, it seems to me that we are issued an ilac
card each January 1st. As a result, resolutions are
defined and courses set for new destinations. Yet, what
happens when we slip a bit...when a split-second choice
tears away at our resolve? Do we hang our heads in
despair?...or do we approach each day with wholeness in
our hearts?
This year, I invite you to commit to a year of love,
nuturing, and forgiveness. Your very essence is coded
to be different than those around you. Discovering a
path that works for you is a journey that demands
diligence and perserverence. Your goal is not too be
perfect...but to purrrfect the choices you make to
serve you better over time. In order to do that, you
become a deliberate observer. Notice which choices tear
away at you time and time again, and reclaim your
personal power to SHiNE by loving yourself whole again.
It's a simple path - one choice at a time. And help is
only a scroll away.
Begin Again... and Again... and Again,
Candice
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