"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation."
Kahlil Gibran

As a facilitator of brilliance in others, I have found that sharing my path is always relevant. For a time I thought that I must keep my reality under lock and key... not revealing my personal journey publicly. To do so would mean certain vulnerability. Through my work unleashing my own SHiNE, I have realized that hiding is a narcissistic pursuit, and a presumption that I must be kept safe from potential humiliation.

Humiliation... perhaps it's really nothing to fear at all.

Humility is among the most powerful allies on my journey. And my process of self-discovery IS the medicine that I am meant to dispense. (I believe the same is true for you.) So to bare my soul's deepest yearnings and vulnerabilities is to walk the path of brilliance for me.

The image above so perfectly reflects the space of my heart right now. A tearing open to reveal new light... and the insights born of death. The most intimate relationship in my life to-date is ending. My lover/companion and I shared a short-lived but deeply-felt love for one another. And as I write, we currently share a home, a bed, and a life together. Nevertheless, we have been initiated by circumstance to let one another go...

It has been a tremendous blessing to love... and to lose. I welcome the pain, for beneath it lies the potential for more joy. Perhaps it is not that the heart breaks when love is threatened, but instead that it breaks open... revealing blessings and truths that can be used to transform the ways in which we love ourselves and one another.

If indeed our partnerships in life act as Divine Mirrors so that we might see ourselves better, may we be willing to stare the truth in the face with fearless curiosity. May we see how we are reflected in the choices of those whom reside in and around our heart. And may we seize the power to love under any circumstance.

What brought an end to my relationship was painful to be sure; yet, I know better than to cast myself a victim in a drama that I helped to create. And I am learning to let go of self-righteous towards what I perceive to be the mistakes of others. I receive the love that I am ready for in each moment... and anything less, well, I must look within to find the strength to reflect love where it is lacking.

For the past ten days, I have felt the pain of a broken heart. Ironically, the Love that I now offer - ever since pain tore into me - is an enlightened evolution of the love that I thought was sufficient up until now. I am cracked wider than ever before, and I am filled with gratitude for the pain that burrowed into the core of my potential. I now have the opportunity to love in a manner that transcends personal gain, self-gratification, and attachment to outcome... or even hope of reciprocity.

This recent journey is teaching me what it is to bask in the brilliance of the Feminine. In moments of weakness I discover the Strength and Power of what it is to be a woman. I take my heart that has been broken... blasted wide open... and I treat it as an altar. Each day, my practice is to embrace humiliation (the brilliant gift of forced humility) and prostrate repeatedly before my tender, open heart. And it speaks back to me in a message of grace, like a whisper within...

She says to me...

"Neither hunger for love nor withhold your own.
My sweet, dare to be love itself!"

Thanks for bearing my heart witness.

Yours Bursting Open,
Candice

Tags: love, heartbreak, humility, cheating on me, open heart, life coaching

Tonight I danced in the shadows....

The details of the interaction that led up to it are unimportant... as always, the story only serves to reveal the inner dramas still stirring. An interaction triggered a subtle darkness within... and the inner dialogue which slow crept forth led me to tears. And to an unexpected late night communion.

I am grateful for fear. It is a rare friend in that it alone has the power to bring me to my knees. Quite literally.
Tonight it brought me to my knees in thePortal... first in despair... then in prayer... and finally I kneel in truth through these words in service to you.

You see, I teach in order to learn. I have found that there is no greater motivation for teaching than self-inquiry. Most of the things that come forth through me I do not claim to be a master of. Far from it. I receive through the voice that is mine so that I might learn to listen. Live your brilliance, I say to those around me. Trust in your unique genius... and in its inherent grace. Embrace humility courageously - enough to surrender your path while you SHiNE your light boldly forth... knowing that you are but a vessel for the evolution of a species...

All these things I say to you.
Yet still, I am afraid.
And the louder my voice gets, the more afraid I become of the message that screams from my every cell.

SHiNE teaches me too. This could be more accurately said:
SHiNE teaches me to.
(Read that closely. It's a small, but deeply relevant distinction in language.)

I have many inspirations throughout each day that I could share with you as blog postings. Yet, I find any excuse not to. This or that idea is too undeveloped... those old journal entries are too much to mess with... there is not time in the day... or, sometimes my excuse is immediately transparent with truth: what if I have no idea what I am talking about... what then? It's better not to take such a chance, yes?

You see, but none of this is about the value of my blog postings, the book I want to write, or any objective I might point to. It's about me believing in myself. It's about knowing that, in the end, my choice to share my brilliance (aka: my way of being in the world) has nothing to do with being good enough for you, for me, or for anyone else. It has everything to do with latching on to the inspirations that strike my heart and mind and riding them to a place that transcends the good opinion of others. How can it be authentic and pure when it is first weighed on the scales of who will and will not agree... like it... or pay good money? Not the point, you see. All brilliance exists in order to shed light so that others might see better. What they feel about what they do or do not see is not the point of the light that we shine... we share perspectives not to seek validation, but in order that we all might become more clear. And we learn to be okay with the fact that clarity has infinite interpretations.

And so as I rested on the earth in prostration tonight, I realized via my body's choice of posture... SHiNE is a way of being that invites communion at the innermost altar. It is being and doing in a manner that confirms the true expression of who I really am in my highest expression of self... that which I source from within. To truly live with such a passion for self-integrity at all costs requires courage. And courage means moving forward in spite of fear. Movement must exist... and movement along the path of self-actualization causes fear to rise to the surface, revealing more of me. In this way, fear becomes an ally to let us know that we are honoring the nudge from within. In fact, fear should never be hidden. It is meant to be called by name and dispelled through action. I believe that fear is just a buffer that exists between unexpressed brilliance and the outside world. And thus, it must move in order that you might do the same.

And so tonight, I make peace. I am grateful for my fear... as it always leads to the shadowy spaces within.

And those shadows... seductive in their story-telling though they might seem... well, they are nothing more than a signal that there is light present somewhere nearby. You only need shift your gaze slightly to see that which stands between the brilliance and that darkness reflected on the other side. What is in the way of the light is you... it is only ever you. And that's the good news. Ah yes, that is very good news indeed.

Tags: shine coaching, life coaching, humility, grace