Debauchery: A Life Untamed
(Note: the following
article was originally published on November 11, 2009)
Fall
2009
True
debauchery is liberating because it creates no
obligations. In it you possess only yourself;
hence it remains the favorite pastime of the great
lovers of their own person.
- Albert Camus
In the esire: Friend or Foe?">August
issue of theMessenger, I
sought to debunk the myth that "desire" need be
avoided. I invited us to become more aware of how
our longings are shaping who we are becoming in each
and every moment. In this issue, we go even further.
The context of each and every issue of theMessenger is
directly inspired by my life experience in the moment.
This month's feature offers unprecendented
transparency, as I share a message from an even more
personal angle.
I have recently ventured on an experiment of sorts. I
am exploring the many delightful gifts of
debauchery...a
life untamed.
The controversial implications of the word
debauchery make it the perfect choice.
Its actual meaning: extreme indulgence in
sensuality and/or seduction from virtue or
duty. Despite its cultural
baggage, debauchery is quite simply: freedom unleashed.
It is a choice that is unconcerned with the opinion of
others. It is the medicine that every generation brings
to the one that proceeds it as it challenges all that
is considered true in order to evolve humanity forth.
Its powerful nature may reveal darkness; yet, it is a
volcanic force of change. When you embrace the gifts of
debauchery, it holds the potential to launch all
aspects of who you are becoming into orbit. It can be a
bold and chaotic revolution of self. I am wild with
delight in my own personal brand of debauchery.
You might be thinking, "whoa there, girl! why the need
for such rebellion?"
Surrendering The New
Religion
For nearly a decade, I have focused almost singularly
on self-awareness and personal growth. I have studied,
and I have practiced. As a dutiful student of spiritual
inquiry and metaphysics, I did my best to clear the
clutter of my mind. I made sure that my intentions were
defined and directed. I abstained from alcohol and
other substances that might inhibit my ability to
focus. I taught others how to become conscious of their
words, thoughts, and actions. I even became extremist
in my choices; sharing energy only with people who I
felt contributed to my aim for such diligence. This
continual emphasis on being deliberate certainly
created some useful habits in me. Yet, over time, I
became restless, caged, and - truth-be-told - even
slightly judgmental.
In some ways, I had allowed "spirituality" to become my
religion. I let it confine me to
elitist thinking and/or artificial ways of being that
felt misaligned with my own evolving inner guidance.
Like a tiger in a cage, I began pacing the parameters
of my confines, seeking a way out. As a result, I sent
out a signal for freedom from my monastic pursuits -
freedom from principle, form and constructs. I found
myself gravitating towards examples of raw truth and
uncensored self-expression, hoping they held the key to
my release.
Unleashing the Wild
Woman
My desire for freedom summoned the perfect series
opportunities. Zumba arrived on the scene to
liberate me on a physical level. Through wild
girations of my form, I began to embrace my body in
a way like never before. Latin dance has taught me
that my curves are glorious mechanisms for
femininity - round and supple counterparts to
circular, raw, explosive movements. In embracing my
body in this new way, I was introduced to an
unexpected ally: She is bold, wild, sexy, and
physically passionate...a creature who thrives on
freedom.
She is a fiercely-alive, untamed version of
me.
Her hunger was palpable after spending so much time
latent. She began to comb her surroundings for outlets,
and she found more than one. The past couple of months
have sent me into uncharted territories on every level.
My desires have become vehicles for my own liberation.
I have been living uncensored, accepting opportunities
that send me forth in unrefined celebration and
pleasure.
For as long as I can remember, I have resisted the wild
woman within. I tamed my unruly curls; now I let them
pour forth. I covered my curves; now I flaunt them. I
push against the parts of me that revealed uncensored
shadow truths; now I am openly revealing the dark
spaces. I am surrendering my attachment to discipline
and am allowing the grace of the moment to guide me. It
has been a wild and insightful ride. Yet, in shadows
revealed there is a bright spark of self-realization.
And let me tell you, if joy is an indicator (which I
believe it to be), I am on the right track. My laughter
is resonating more and more expansively every day.
Daring to Go
Further
In the spirit of said intention, I am liberating my
voice with you as a witness. I will become a more free
and willing vessel for my work. Up until now, my rawest
musings have been sequestered to the pages of my
journals. Visible posts have been edited and distilled
wisdoms that reveal only the bright spots.
I now realize that the most powerful examples are
authentic and pure transmissions of both shadow and
shine. You simply can't have one
without the other.
If you feel so inspired, I invite you to tune in and
even chime in! Become a Fan on Facebook or subscribe to
the SHiNE Blog RSS feed to view recent and future
postings. Attend an upcoming class or retreat and I
promise to more consciously create space for all shades
of shadow and shine.
Thank you in advance for bearing witness as I allow my
voice to expand. It is my hope that this act of courage
will inspire a comparable unveiling of some latent
potential in YOU.
Delight in the discoveries that your untamed desires
can reveal. Remember, it is the
coupling of your darkness and your light that shapes
the whole of who you are.
Wild & Free to Be Me,
Candice
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Desire: Friend or Foe?
August
2009
It
is never the idol that you want,
but what you think it offers you.
A
Course in Miracles
Desire. Friend or
Foe?
Let's face it: desire has gotten a bad rap for
centuries. With roots in both eastern and western
religious traditions, renunciation of desire has
penetrated the collective psyche as a noble aim in an
ever-expanding material world. We are taught - through
an onslaught of psychological, sociological, and
spiritual influences - that desire is selfish and
fleeting...and that the ego (desire's vehicle) must be
defeated in order to experience true happiness. Yet
despite our best intentions, desire remains a human
epidemic we have yet to overcome as a species. Some
might wonder, if we are truly evolving, why are we
still yearning?
Humans are a species mesmerized by dichotomies. We
continually do the dance of extremes in order to propel
ourselves forth. Desire is a force hard to deny; thus,
when renunciation of the material world wages a war
within, we turn to consumption. After feeding impulse
after impulse, we find we are still left empty. We
pretend our hunger means nothing...we pretend it means
everything...and now we are ready to stop pretending.
Every human longing points to a potential within. Our
minds are magicians, continually whipping up potions
that we think promise us the end we are seeking. We
spend time and resources casting spell after spell in
hopes to manifest the IT that will deliver us the
sensation we so long for. Time and time again, the
end-result is short-lived. Thus, we blame desire itself
for leading us astray.
Yet, what if we are simply missing the point? What if
desire is not the problem. Perhaps it is our approach
to it that needs to be re-evaluated. I have come to
understand that each and every desire (without
exception) point us in the direction of a
universally-desired sensation. Thus, at the heart of
our desire is alignment with a potential that is
seeking to be born through our life experience.
What You Really Want is
YOU
The object of your desire is not the problem; the fact
that you want IT is not the source of your mood swings.
It is in the misunderstanding of these impulses that
you find cause to suffer. Put simply, desire is an
indicator that something more is calling to you. Life's
struggles aren't a result of the cycle of incessant
wanting. Suffering may be due to attachments to the
many forms that your physical creation has taken, or
may take in the future. Or, perhaps more commonly in
our western culture,
suffering is ignoring oneself and never fulfilling the
potential buried beneath surface
longing.
What you really want is to E X P A N D - to express
more of your evolving essence. The objects of your
desire are simply things that you believe will deliver
the goods - the goodness that it your birthright.
Desire is the eager whimper of a more expansive YOU
that is currently hidden from view. To deny it is to
deny your innate tendency for growth and expansion.
Paradoxically, it is the denial of our deepest desires
that causes the ego run amok. Anyone who has ever
stayed the course of a circumstance (or way of being)
long-outgrown knows the blessed tantrums of the ego.
Interestingly, when we finally let go and yield to what
would feel better - in thought, word, or action - the
tempest fades. Alas, could the ego be an ally on this
journey?! Oh yes, indeed!! An
ego-soul alliance is pulsing at the core of
this message.
Metaphorically speaking, your soul is in a state of
perpetual rebirth. (I mean, in this life, you are meant
to evolve continually). Your ego and the world of form
offer vessels of gestation through which you are meant
to grow in and out of. And, it is the contractions of
desire that deliver you forth. They ensure your
expansion by pushing you towards greater degrees of
love, joy, freedom, and well-being.
Expansion through
Form
Some spiritual teachers have told us to seek the
medicine from within. They say that if we sit still
long enough...if we dive deep enough...and if we resist
the dream of the physical world around us, we will be
rewarded with limitless joy. Yet, is the point of this
physical dimension simply to deny it? Or, can we have
both? - the boundless joy of expansion and the
pleasures of human existence? Rather than enlightenment
in spite of the physical world, could this planet of
ours become the container through which we express our
collective enlightenment?
Every aspect of the living world is in a state of
perpetual expansion. Growth and evolution of form is
the way of the physical domain. At the root of this
propulsion forth is - you guessed it - desire. The
longing for something better. Desire is the catalyst
for change. Change is a means for personal expansion.
And personal expansion is the key ingredient in
collective evolution. Accept and embrace your desires
as reflections of latent potential within all of
us.
Join the Dialogue
Those of you in the Portland area, join me this
Thursday, August 13th at New Renaissance
Bookshop. I am honored to be
leading a coaching forum that will shed a new light on
desire, the ego, and the metaphysics of creation. We
will explore and evolve the Law of Attraction through
the lens of the soul. Questions, comments, and
contributions are welcome. Hope to see you
there!
Click here to sign up.
Note: CLICK
HERE for a follow-up post on the Soul Vibes
event.
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