Body Alliance
January 2009
Photo from The Full Body
Project
*[Wo]man
is the sole animal whose nudity offends her own
companions, and the only one who, in her natural
actions, withdraws and hides herself from her own
kind.
-
Montaigne
Tis' the season of new year's resolutions. Did you
expect to see a different kind of picture? Take a
minute to really look at the photo above. What comes to
mind as you view these full-figured women in all their
glory?
When I was in college studying for my BA in Psychology
and Human Development, one class that rocked my world
was entitled: Prejudice and Stigma. My dynamic
professor, Chris Crandall, is still at it. He has
been studying prejudice for decades. Specifically,
he is an expert on the topic of weight-related
prejudice. I vividly remember the day when he
revealed to us what I considered staggering
statistical findings. He and his colleagues found
that: The parents of obese children were
significantly less likely to pay to send them to
college. The familial weight-dependent prejudice
displayed towards female children was much higher
than that of boys. And that perhaps the most painful
aspect of the stigma of "fat" in all age groups -
what set this stigma apart from other demographics -
was that even people of the same size and shape were
reportedly prejudiced toward one another. In
essence, antipathy towards fat people is pervasive
and culturally reinforced, even within the family
and social circles.
The picture gallery referenced above intrigues me for
the way in which it challenges me to think. Did you
notice any culturally inherited prejudices in your
perception of these ladies? These are women who dance
in naked defiance of the cultural spell many of us are
under. First, they bask in the glow of self-acceptance
without sucking it in or reliance on airbrushing. That
is inspiration enough. Yet they take it a step further.
They blatantly dare you to face your judgments, your
assumptions, and your willingness to accept beauty in
all its variations. They dare to flaunt their abundant
curves, usually kept hidden. They reach to one another
for the courage it takes to be seen...a collective band
of body-blazing pioneers. They are heros in their own
right.
Over fifteen years after Dr. Crandall's initial
findings, I can honestly say that I don't know one
woman - of any shape or size - who is immune from the
terrifying stigma of "fat" on some level. Again and
again, I am surprised to learn that even the most
slender, dynamic, and powerful women are fighting
against their bodies. It's the same story in variant
forms...25-year old women "feeling fat" while wearing
everything from size two to size twenty, 35-45 year old
women confused that they are no longer shaped like a
teen model, and women 50+ years young who quite
literally ban themselves from the pleasure of a bathing
suit for life due to the pain of body-loathing. It's
our best kept secret - this emotional sickness among
women. We only allude to the symptoms of it, as our
helplessness keeps us from diving too deep.
On my own journey, I have certainly braved the seas of
change from adolecence into womanhood. Even my youth
and interest in movement didn't keep me immune. I look
back on photos of me athletic, thin, and in my
“physical prime.” I feel a mixture of awe and utter
sadness that I feared and "felt fat" even then! Now as
I step into another transformative season of life, I
peel back the layers on more negative beliefs and
self-judgments as my body is changing. When will I
truly feel total body acceptance?
If, like me, you have an intention for greater health
and self-care in 2009, I fully support your mission.
Yet I have discovered time and time again that
intentions driven by the desperation of body-loathing
are not a healthy prescription for change. True
motivation comes from a heartfelt desire for a more
fulfilling life, not a smaller dress size. And fitness
is about so much more than a number on a scale.
In 2008, I took a break from dancing and most forms of
fitness. This time-out was prompted by my body's cries
for a hiatus from over seven years of pretty much
continual dynamic movement. During that time the
prescription for my wellness was stillness. Over the
course of my time off, I gained nearly 20 lbs along
with the weight of some new leisurely habits.
Nevertheless, I was inventing new ways to be healthy
and whole. And, I was invited to love my body anew - an
ever-developing woman existing amidst a more curvaceous
landscape.
I recently started dancing again...as the integration
completed its cycle, my spirit began to stir once
again. I thought it would surely take a few months to
feel the power of fitness and movement as I once had.
What I discovered after only 1 week of movement was
glorious! No, not that I had lost a bunch of weight or
that I had rock-hard abs. I discovered that I
immediately felt alive again...that sweat is an elixir
of bliss when delivering the spirit within...and that
to move is to breathe life forward. All of these are
indicators of true fitness. To express my spirit
through the flesh, at any age and cycle of life, that
is wellness realized.
Lightness can be felt at any size. Beauty can be
activated in a deep cleansing breath or in a simple
movement of the hips. And fitness is an aliveness that
can only be measured from within.
Ladies, I know I am not
alone in my journey to change the way I think about my
body and fitness. Yet, instead of turning to one
another for support, we turn to our mirrors in shame.
We turn to fad diets...we turn to deprivation and
isolation...we turn to creams to hide our
cellulite...and unfortunately, we turn on one another
through subtle energetics that feed our pain and
disconnection.
As with all mentalities we outgrow as a species, this
cultural madness must be brought to light and shed. In
2009, like the women pictured above, let's create an
alliance to accept one another in the ways in which we
would like to be accepted. I propose that we band
together to step out of the darkness and into the light
and brilliance that comes from navigating our fears.
Let's stop turning our back on one another and let's
find fitness, pleasure, and self-acceptance somewhere
other than in our reflections and dress sizes.
If you feel so inspired, I invite you to join me in the
following New Year's Resolution:
• I will do my best to accept and find beauty in my
body, as it is - giving myself at least one physical
complement per day.
• I will send a message of body-based appreciation and
admiration to at least one woman per day (via a
heartfelt complement, through thought or word).
• I will readjust my thinking in order to incorporate a
new definition of fitness - one where feeling radiant
and powerful is more important than feeling thin. I
will seek opportunities to express my radiance through
my body in 2009!
SIGN THE CONTRACT
Body Alliance 2009
Print and Sign a Declaration to activate YOUR
resolution.
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And by the way, Body
Appreciation is just one of the many topics we will
focus on in the upcoming Radiance Coaching Class Series
(new dates tba). If you feel moved to join us,
click here for more information.
Hope to see you there!
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Looking Forward to Celebrating Your Beauty,
Candice